High Femme: You Are On a Smoke Date, Dandelion! | Autostraddle

Phoning all Homoganjas! Let us mention everything Marijuana connected, from legalization to pop society to how to make yours bong utilizing a package of Diva glasses and a broken light.

Whether you’re a newbie whon’t understand a blunt from a shared, or perhaps you’re making plans for your gay dream wedding to Mary Jane, this line is for you. Puff, Puff, Pass.

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Rory Midhani

It really is saturday evening. Or Monday night. Maybe it’s Tuesday afternoon. I don’t know lifetime. But that woman you have been swooning more than is on her way over here. You realize, the one who makes you hear pressures of “deeper” in your thoughts once you examine her? she actually is coming more than for a hangout. And she is providing an eighth of OG Kush. Time for you to placed on a clean clothing and wash that bong, because you’re on a smoke date, Dandelion!

Smoke times may have many advantages. Certainly, you are comfortable enough in both’s company to participate in semi-illegal activities with each other (unless you reside a modern state and are also a card-carrying healthcare marijuana user). Also, she does not care about investing a long time along with you. There’s really no these thing as a “quick weed split.” Toking up is actually, by meaning, a time-intensive procedure. There is the awkward small-talk, one spark upwards, the driving around regarding the products before they might be cashed around. Then you’ve the high it self, that may typically ground you for around an hour, according to your strain/tolerance. After that without a doubt, there is the procurement of munchies, and also the eating of stated munchies. After that probably another joint/blunt/bowl. We’re talking a good four to five symptoms of

Futurama

right here, very get comfortable. This might get a long time. But another human being wants to spend much time with you! tall five!

Songs

First, turn off the Bob Marley. This is not Freshman year. We know whom shot the sheriff additionally the deputy as well. Only perform anything mellow inside background or spin
Carmen’s mix for smoking
.

Explore

+ Cigarette. What you’re puffing. The place you first got it. The manner in which you tend to be smoking it. Exacltly what the choices tend to be.

+ ANYTHING pop music society relevant. Feel free to expound in your ideas of Leisha Hailey’s Yoplait commercial, the tragic cancellation of Bomb Girls, or whom the bang A is. Because it’s gotta be Aria, right? What i’m saying is, seriously.

+ Conspiracy ideas! Large everyone is drawn to conspiracy ideas like moths to a dubious flame. Is actually region 51 an alien think-tank? Would be the Illuminati running American Apparel? Are Tegan and Sara Quin EQUIVALENT INDIVIDUAL?

Try Not To Mention

+ complex geopolitical dilemmas. Can someone really be articulate towards worldwide economic crisis when you’re stumbling ovaries? If you do not’re an Aaron Sorkin character, the clear answer is no. It just got you twenty mins to find out just how much to advice the pizza delivery man. Slow down the roll.

+ upsetting personal tales. It is amazing that you want to start doing this person. But now is not necessarily the most useful time. Really serious tales are for sober minutes, and you desire their full attention to make sure you’re in a safe area. Also, nobody really wants to harsh their particular hype.

Advised Viewing

As Well Pretty! Puppies

is actually a genuine reveal that is present because America. It’s simply pups running around. It’s generally just what performs during my head-on a consistent circle whenever I zone out. It is probably the best thing who has actually been around actually ever.

Cartoons:

Simpsons

,

Futurama

,

Household Man

,

Bob’s Burgers

,

Archer

(Pam!).

Youtube films of kitties. SIMPLE ENOUGH.

Honorable Mentions

The very best Beyonce follower movie in history.

Everyone loves this video plenty I want to get married it. I’d like it playing inside distribution space while I birth my kids. I want it playing on a fixed loop to my tombstone like an eternal flame. This movie completes me personally.

The Actual Only Real Party Trick You Will Want

Ah, the amount of time recognized custom of shotgunning aka the blow back. It’s foolish, its sexy and it also gets your mouth in really near proximity to her lips. Shotgunning is actually a gateway medicine to making down. Your standard shotgun is how individual A inhales and breathes the smoke into individual B’s lips. Pretty straightforward.

Now for the higher level cigarette smokers personals {A|thea requires the joint (WARNING: this merely works with a joint!) and sets the lit end up in their particular mouth area. Individual B then sucks on the other side end while Person A blows. It has the effect generating Person the seem like a fearless, fire-swallowing badass. Just don’t lick the using up conclusion, young ones. Many of us discovered that the difficult means.

And Finally

Make sure to remain safe. Smoking within your restrictions. You should not stress your own go out or feel pressured to smoke significantly more than you wish to. Cannabis consent is gorgeous. And make sure everybody has a safe ride residence and a soft destination to freeze. Because stoned cuddles? A particular cuddles.